This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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