What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
