I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
