not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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