Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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