have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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