don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
