i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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