Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
