This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
