Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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