He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
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