So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
