The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
