yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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