They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
