i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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