she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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