Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
