He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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