your thong is hanging out like whoa
Your dad touched me again.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
