matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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