No stitches, just platelets and will power
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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