Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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