i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
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