id be glad to
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
