I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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