i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize