She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize