im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
