Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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