We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
