I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
