I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
