I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
