chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
