he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just gargled with NyQuil
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
