oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
