I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
