Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
