I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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