haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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