the new term for farting is butt boxing.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
