I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
