I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize