How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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