a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
