And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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