You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
