and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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