I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
