so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
