And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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