i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
