i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
