I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
