Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
