I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
