somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
