If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize