Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
