You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
