I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
