Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
