Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
