It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
